


painless ways to die

by Anonymous



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Pill swallowing, Suicide, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:21:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25567372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Kenma has always been lazy, it's no surprise he decides to go out without a bang too.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Kudos: 56
Collections: Anonymous





	painless ways to die

**Author's Note:**

> TW//Overdose and suicide. There is not a happy ending to this story

"Least painful way to die," Kenma's keyboard clicked as he pressed the keys down with more than enough aggression. He'd had more than enough of this shit. Living was a lot to deal with, and Kenma had never been a person of much energy. Living on Earth was not an easy feat for people like Kenma. Life is full of competition, and continually putting in the effort unless you want to live on the streets. Kenma wasn't keen on putting much effort into anything, even things he enjoyed. Life was painfully exhausting. The world would never be perfect, so why even bother? On top of Kenma's lazy outlook on life, he was riddled with anxiety and second-guessing.

All he wanted to do was sleep, he was so tired all the time. But, of course, his anxiety decided he was going to be afraid of sleep because...why not. So many nights were filled with crying onto his 3ds, wondering why he couldn't sleep. The days were spent sleeping in unconventional places. He dawdled through life, tired and sore. His nervousness made him wonder if he was going to die that day, and his sadness hoped he would. Every stranger that passed him sent him into fight or flight mode. But every moving car beckoned closer, promising him sleep. But malaise was not enough to make him put in the effort of ending his own life. No matter how much he wanted to jump in front of a car, he knew they wouldn't be going fast enough to kill him. They'd only leave him in more pain. 

The only person he could stand to be around was Kuroo. Best friends since kindergarten, of course, they'd have some kind of attachment. But, as it seems, Kuroo did not share the same attachment Kenma did. Kenma's first crush, and Kenma's last crush, had gone and gotten into a relationship. It wasn't Kuroo's fault Kenma spiraled, it never would be. He owed Kenma absolutely nothing at all. No matter how many times Kenma told himself that he couldn't stop himself. He'd rewritten his note more times than he could count. He wanted Kuroo to know he loved him, but also didn't need Kuroo joining him in the afterlife because he blamed himself. 

He'd read countless forums on ways to do it without pain. Most unnatural deaths cause pain, it seems. Drowning was always one of the most painful, so that was a no go. Pills had a chance of survival, but they looked the calmest. 

His pill cocktail was comprised of only the most delectable pills ranging from headache pills to antidepressants. He took them three at a time, eating apple pie and water to wash them down. He'd always been a patient man, so he took the time to create a cozy spot on his couch. He opened his 3ds, the same one he'd been trying on last night. Now, all he felt was warm and full of pills and pie. Eventually, he felt rushes of nausea wash over him, his body was trying to make him throw the tablets up. He forced the bile down and walked to his room, leaving his 3ds open. Once in his bedroom, he picks some stuff out of his drawers. 

He lays out his note to his mom on the bed, she was most likely going to be the one to find him in about a day or two. But, pulls out a second note, placing it on top of the folded jersey on his dresser. That note was for Kuroo, he'd hoped it would let Kuroo live happily and with no guilt. He'd never forgive himself if Kuroo killed himself over this.

Kenma sat down as his vision got blurry, and his head got heavy. His body had given up at trying to stop him. The lazy old body was finally giving in to what his mind wanted.

He curled up on his comforter, as his eyes fell heavy and his body got light. 

**Author's Note:**

> I've been feeling kinda down in the dumps lately so I made this. Please don't worry about me, I'm not gonna do anything like this I just needed a place to vent a little.


End file.
